With Every New Page, There’s a Chapter Unwritten
If you think you can’t, you can;
If you think you won’t, you will;
We were built to do hard things, and we will do all the small things together with grit and grace. Only you can write your own story.
Courtney has shared her story. She never felt sick. She did not have any symptoms other than enlarged lymph nodes, which initially were tiny and non concerning. She was her own best advocate. She showed every doctor we saw for every routine appointment, looking for a reason these lymph nodes were not going away. She had routine labs at each appointment, two ultrasounds, a chest x-ray, a more comprehensive blood panel, a core biopsy, and flow cytometry test, which all showed no evidence of anything other than the enlarged lymph nodes. No one was concerned…until they were.
Day 0: Diagnosis Day, the day that changed so much. After having an excisional biopsy, we finally had the reason that these lymph nodes would not go away, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This day will live with me forever. Waiting for Courtney to come home from a party, and knowing that no matter what words we chose, the message was the same, you have cancer. You can’t go to camp, you can’t play soccer or flag football, and we have to travel out of state every two weeks for treatment. It wasn’t easy to find the courage to deliver that news. Even though the next words we spoke were, “This is curable and you are going to be fine,” the only thing we all heard was cancer. We spent the next 48 hours bed rotting and watching Netflix. We didn’t say much, we just were.
We never returned to that state of bed rot again. We got up and just started living. I recall saying to Courtney that when life knocks you down, you get back up and punch it square in the face (said with a ton of passion and a word of profanity, sorry not sorry). One week later, she found herself as a patient in treatment and her own patient advocate.
Camp is Courtney’s happy place. For those who don’t know, it’s like a fantasy land for kids over the summer. She’s gone to camp since she was nine years old and this was her final summer as a camper. The tears that were shed over the loss of camp are burned into my soul. I cried too, and I told her that I couldn’t make promises that I didn’t think I could keep. My goal in this journey was to be open, honest, and transparent, even in the hardest moments. I didn’t think camp was a remote possibility between the 2-week trips for treatment, lab draws in between, side effects from treatment, medication, and a PICC line in her arm. My oh my, did she prove me wrong. Courtney, on her own accord, produced a plan with her medical team. She learned to flush her own PICC line, for starters, and along with the incredible loving support from the camp owners and staff, Courtney went to camp. It didn’t look like the summers before, but it was as close as possible, and camp really was the medicine she needed.
My point is don’t stop doing all the things, even if you find yourself having a Day 0. I realize every diagnosis is different and every patient journey has its own unique challenges but keep pushing forward. Be strong in your body and your mind. Lean on your friends and family. Ask the questions. Don’t be afraid. You have a community of healers, fighters, caregivers, and advocates. Use and abuse the network. No one walks alone. Like I said to Courtney, not every day will be amazing but there will be more good than bad. Reach out to us. We’ve got you!
Your story matters. Whether you’re a survivor, currently fighting, or supporting someone, we want to hear from you. Share your journey and inspire others.
Share your victory and how you’ve overcome cancer.
Share your journey and inspire others going through treatment.
Share how you’ve supported someone on their cancer journey.
Share your family’s experience and what helped you through.
courtney.heymach@chapterunwritten.org
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